June 9 to 15 is Men’s Health Week and with the month itself also Men’s Mental Health Month, it’s an opportune time to have some important conversations.
Eastern Health Consultant Psychiatrist Jonathan Starke said Suicide is a major issue for men’s mental health in Australia and is the leading cause of death for men aged 15 to 44.
“Look out for symptoms like persistent low mood, sleep disturbance, ruminative thoughts, and a loss of interest or motivation, especially when these last for weeks and affect daily life. It becomes more concerning when someone can no longer enjoy things they used to love, struggles to function at work or home, appearing more irritable and experiences low energy, libido, or appetite,” he said.
“Mental health is something we each have a responsibility to nurture, and while there are common themes like social connection, purpose and feeling valued, what works best is often very individual, it’s not about doing it all yourself but being willing to explore what keeps you mentally well, knowing there are supports and services around you.”
In the Outer East, there a number of free local options that can provide an easy and accessible start to seeking mental health help:
headspace Lilydale and Knox provide free mental support for those aged 12 to 25
The Mental Health and Wellbeing Local in Lilydale run by Wellways Australia is free and open to anyone over the age of 26
Tony Vallance of allied health clinic Building Better Brains in Croydon has been working with the Yarra Ranges and Maroondah City councils to run the Dads Chat project, a series of free workshops focused on the wellbeing of local dads and male carers
Team Leader of intake and brief intervention at headspace Knox Chris Morley said it’s important every year, but it’s getting more and more important as they’re seeing a lot of young men with mental health issues and hearing a lot of stories.
“It’s relationships, friendships, online bullying, in-person bullying, anxiety, depression, family breakdown, a lot of people are doing it pretty hard financially at the moment, that’s having a big impact as well and so day-to-day survival is a big thing which causes a lot of depression and anxiety,” he said.
“If we don’t name our emotions and start dealing with them and talking about them, they just build up and we need to learn strategies of dealing with them otherwise, we can find coping strategies that maybe aren’t so helpful like alcohol and drug use or risky behaviours, things like that,”
“We need to be aware of the impact of social media, but it can be a really positive impact too, kids who are feeling isolated can still reach out and connect with friends through social media and that can be a wonderful thing and the more we talk about it, the more we’re aware of the traps and the dangers but also the really important connections people can make.”
The local headspace centres can be found at 216 Main Street, Lilydale and 2 Capital City Boulevard, Wantirna South.
Enfys Jones is a local volunteer for headspace’s Youth Action Force (YAF) and said blokes are doing it tough and thinking they’re alone or ‘gotta push through it alone’.
“We need to keep up the convo, doing it tough with mental health can cause tension with mates and family, asking for a hand takes the pressure off and it keeps you around for more good times,” he said.
Getting help is strong, it’s bloody hard, especially after you’ve been fighting solo for so long but we gotta do the right thing,”
“People are there and you deserve not to be in mental pain.”
The Yarra Ranges Mental Health and Wellbeing Local will be making the permanent move into its new home on 16 June at the lower ground floor at 61-65 Anderson Street, Lilydale (Entry via the Coles outdoor car park) and can also be contacted via 1300 000 252 or online at wellways.org/localservices.
Building Community Capacity Team Leader at the Mental Health and Wellbeing Local in Yarra Ranges Matt Riley said to remember it’s not weak to speak and that taking care of your mental health is one of the strongest things you can do for yourself and those who care about you. “Start by checking in with yourself. Be honest and kind. Ask, ‘How am I really doing?’ Feeling flat, avoiding people, or constantly exhausted are signs you might need support, and that’s okay,” he said.
“Next, reach out to your mates. It doesn’t have to be a deep conversation- sometimes, the
smallest gestures make the biggest difference, asimple message, a shared laugh, or an
invite to grab coffee or watch the footy can show your mates they’re not alone and that
someone cares, it’s about showing up and reminding them they matter,”
“It’s vital to keep men’s mental health in focus. Unfortunately, so many men feel they must
‘tough it out’, by raising awareness, we break that stigma and show that seeking support is a
sign of strength.”
Mr Vallance said all of his clients are males and it can really hard for them as they might not have had a lot of ways shown to them growing up in how to have certain conversations and hold space for someone.
“When it comes to those invisible challenges with what we carry mentally, what’s in our own backyard, then it’s very hard to talk about, it’s very hard to know if a fellow mate is really struggling or doing it tough and often it’s the guys who are making life look easy who in some cases can be the most at risk,” he said.
“When we look at behaviours that happen to us blokes when things get too tough and things get too challenging, when we might be feeling so angry, so frustrated and so lost, we might punch a wall or in some cases, do violent things with the people that we love the most, so it’s so important to have these conversations and discuss these challenges,”
“That’s why I’m so proud of these groups of guys that have come through Dad’s Chat, we have laughed, we’ve shared tears, we’ve shared hilarious things going on in our lives with our children and our lives and also we’ve shared some real genuine challenge and some real struggles that come with that journey.”
The Dad’s Chat project is set to resume in Term Three of the school year.
Journalist and 2022 South Australian Young Achiever of the Year Cal MacPherson started the ‘Young Blood – Men’s Mental Health’ video podcast after losing his friend James to suicide in 2019 and urged men to hold on, because pain ends and no matter how unlikely it seems, the storm will pass eventually if you give it enough time and take all the positive action you can.
“Building self-awareness and consciously tending to your mental health, as you would your
physical health, isn’t just a ‘nice to have’, it’s an absolute necessity,” he said.
“It doesn’t matter how tough you are, or how much you think you can carry on your own, everyone needs help sometimes and finding the courage to be honest and put your hand up is the strongest thing you can do for yourself and those who love you,”
“I’ve interviewed hundreds of young men about their experiences with mental health and suicide, they all agree on this, the voice in your head that tells you you’re a burden that people would be better off without, is lying to you.”
If you or someone you know is seriously injured or at risk of harm right now, call Triple Zero (000).
For support for men’s family, emotional or relationship challenges, call MensLine Australia at 1300 78 99 78
You can call Lifeline at 13 11 14 for 24/7 suicide prevention and crisis support anywhere in Australia
There is also free 24/7 telephone counselling support through the Suicide Call Back Service at 1300 659 467 if you are at risk of or affected by suicide, delivered by Lifeline’s trained counsellors
There is also 24/7, free and private counselling available from Beyond Blue by calling 1300 22 4636 or starting a webchat at beyondblue.org.au/get-support/talk-to-a-counsellor/chat.
