By Mikayla van Loon
Foster carers can fill the void of a designated loving and caring family for children in the system, being a person of stability and support in a life that may never have had that before.
But as Victoria reaches a crisis point of potentially having 27,500 children in out-of-home care by 2026, foster care agencies like Anchor are hoping to change the perception of foster caring and are urging people to help a young person find their feet.
This Foster Care Week, running from 11 September to 17 September, is aiming to celebrate carers and the task they have taken on.
When Kym’s niece and her two children needed a place to stay, she was quick to welcome them into her home but once they left, she found she had a hole in her heart where they had been.
“I loved those kids like they were my own. I could see that I was a positive influence in their life and so I thought to myself, ‘I could love other people’s children’ and that’s when I looked into doing foster care,” Kym said.
For nearly 15 years Kym has been looking after children of all ages, from babies to teenagers.
“I did respite for a couple of boys for quite a number of years. That was my first placement,” she said.
“From then on, I have had lots of different kids and I’ve got two girls permanently now. They’re all grown up and I’ve got two that are still in foster care.”
While each young person is different, Kym said she tries to focus on being a stable and supportive person in their lives.
“I try to be a positive role model. Teach them right from wrong and teach them morals and try to teach them to be a good honest person,” she said.
“I just try to give them a good, stable environment, so that they don’t have to move around all the time because a lot of that happens in foster care.
“Some people don’t want to do long term, whereas I’d rather do long term because then I know I’m actually making a real difference in their lives and giving that stability in a family type unit.”
Kym is the first to admit foster caring can be challenging, particularly with teenagers but staying strong and positive makes a huge difference.
“Teenagers are challenging but you’ve just got to keep in mind that if you can make a bit of difference and keep them safe and try to steer them in the right direction, that’s basically all you can do.”
Throughout all the years and all the challenges, Kym said it is by far “the most rewarding thing I’ve ever done.”
“I have seen how far these kids have come and I’m really proud to be part of helping them through their life and through their troubles and giving them that stability, giving them the love they need, the support they need and trying to give them a normal, happy childhood.”
Anchor CEO Heidi Tucker said often foster caring comes with quite a stigma or preconceived idea of what it would look like but broken down it is really about “looking after the state’s most vulnerable children.”
“There’s probably been some myths about foster care and what it’s about. It isn’t necessarily taking a child full time for the next 10 years and having that commitment,” she said.
“We really are very grateful for people that take children for a weekend or for respite or in an emergency or for a short term period.”
Heidi said people often think their family or personal situation may not fit the criteria for foster caring, whether it be because they don’t have children, are in a same-sex relationship or feel they are too old or too young.
“People make those assumptions about it but foster carers come in all shapes and sizes, all ages, all levels of family structures.”
The current situation of foster care in Victoria is urgent, with Heidi saying “we don’t have enough foster carers of any kind.”
“But in particular, where the system’s really failing is being able to care for those children who might be primary school or early high school aged children who have siblings.”
The result of not having enough foster carers, Heidi said, means children are having to be looked after in hotels and motels by paid staff on a rotating roster.
On top of the struggles through the pandemic, Heidi said “the perfect storm of our economic situation that’s now deteriorating” has left some families unable to take foster children and on the flip side more disadvantaged families are struggling to care for their children seeing more enter the system.
Not only can foster care help the child themselves but Heidi said it has that domino effect, filtering out to the school, the community and later perhaps work, as well as the birth parents.
“The impact of good foster care and its child or young person launching successfully into their adulthood makes a difference for generations to come.”
Seeing the relationships that can be created through foster care, Kym said she has bonds with all her foster children which will never be broken and her family extends every time she has a new foster child.
Kym said with the need at the moment for foster carers she hopes people will give it a go, even just respite care because it really has changed her life.
“If I hadn’t done this I could have been a very selfish adult, just thinking about myself, but this has really changed my life. And I actually feel like I’m blessed from having these children in my life. It’s benefited me, not just them.”
