Ready to stick it to that magpie…

“I WAS telling myself to hurry as my friend was waiting at the corner shop, when thud!…out of the blue I was thumped on the back of the head.
Surprised, I turned and looked over my left shoulder but there was nothing there, just blue skies, green trees and an empty road.
Puzzled but not afraid I kept going. Thud! I was thumped again and heard a loud squawk above my head and saw a bundle of black and white feathers fly away into the distance. I stopped. My heart raced at top speed and I was panting in fear.
The magpie was nowhere to be seen but I had a feeling that it would return and I was right.
This time it came right for my face and then skimmed my forehead as I heard the wings beating.
Then the bird turned in midair with a squawk and clutched onto the top of my head with its claws in my hair and the noise of its wings beating in my ear.
Sharp stabs of pain went into my head and by then I was screaming for help.
I lost control and, no longer thinking but trying to brush the monster off my head, I ran straight into the road.
Then everything happened at once. I tripped on the gravel road, there was a screech of car brakes and the magpie took off.
A sharp burning in my hands and elbows replaced the pain in my head and instead of being frightened of the magpie I looked up and was face to face with a car number plate. I was then crying and screaming when the shaken driver’s face was looking right at me.
Her dog was barking franticly as she got out to help me.
She picked me up off the ground then hurried me into the car away from the magpie, which was sitting on the powerline laughing at us both, looking rather pleased.
It was lucky that my Good Samaritan was driving at a safe speed and had quick reflexes.
I was also lucky that she was a decent person because as soon I was safe from the magpie I started to worry that I shouldn’t have hopped into a stranger’s car.
So I would like to say that, in the spring, drivers should be careful to drive slowly and make sure that there isn’t anybody on or near the road being attacked by a magpie.
Although I am still afraid of that magpie I won’t let him stop me walking down that road.
I’m well prepared for battle with a hat with eyes on it, a few large sticks and some stones. I would like to thank my Good Samaritan for taking care of me and not leaving me there on the road.